For you,
I wish I could've stayed pure a little longer,
Unsoiled and white -
But when was I ever like that?
As a child,
I knew God had to be out of thew way,
Otherwise I wouldn't be able to act
or say
All the things that would, later on, become me.
So you see,
What I actually wish
Is for you to have met me, let's say,
twenty-five years ago.
It's that drastic, I know.
Come to think of it, must be the only time
When I really didn't mean harm
Though I'm sure that I must have done some;
If only to those beautiful people
That I forced into becoming my parents
To the rabbits
I would love for a while
And then feed on
To the puppets
I would opperate on,
Forcing them to change gender and race,
to wear grandma's pink ragged lace.
And to think,
This is was supposed to be a love letter
But it turned out like a therapy session-
I didn't even know I was so damaged-
I was going to wish
I hadn't started smoking
Or dying my hair
Or loved so many men before you
Or other random things that have soiled me,
But my despair is clinical, I can see.
I wasn't ever whiter than today,
These are the nicest things I can say
About me
And the fact that I can actually tell you
This is no joyride that you're signing in to
Should be more than any other truths they can give you
About me.
